So...somewhere along the way, the inability to control our impulses and wanting stuff a lot became a mental illness. Did you know that? I just found out about that just now. If that's true then someone had better get me a helmet with some nice pictures of rubber duckies on it because I want A LOT of stuff so I must be bat-shit crazy.
It didn't really start with Tiger Woods, but he has totally perpetuated this insanity, please excuse the pun. For those of you who don't know, Tiger Woods, the best golfer in the world in most people's opinion, married a smoking hot blonde, but decided that wasn't enough so he started banging, on the side, like thirty cocktail waitresses, gas station attendants, golf cart drink girls, account executives, casino patrons, etc. etc. Basically anyone that he could get his hands on as long as it was a chick. So he ran his SUV into a fire hydrant and then it all unraveled and all of the sudden he is in a treatment center somewhere getting help for his "sex addiction." I call bullshit or shenanigans or whatever else I can call. Because wanting to get laid a lot is not a mental condition, okay? Wanting to get a lot of action is called being human. If you are a boy, way down deep inside your brain there is a little nugget of neanderthal natural instinct that screams "spread your seed to as many places as you can young man. Go forth and multiply over and over and over." and I am not going to lie, that is a hard little voice to ignore. Listening to it and allowing it to destroy your marriage does not mean that you have a problem or a compulsion or an illness. It just means you don't have a lot of self control. Unfortunately there are doctors out there who are willing to declare people cheating as a mental problem. I suppose that's thinking outside of the box. Or about it. Sorry, I couldn't help myself.
In a strange sort of way, what Tiger was out doing was acquiring things: notches on his bedpost, STD's, panties, whatever, so I suppose that if he has an addiction and a mental problem, it is not too hard to imagine that the same applies to Sujata Sachdeva. She was the Milwaukee-area business executive who spent amounts of money that are unfathomable to me on clothes, shoes, and clothing accessories. At this point the tally is up to $31 million that she skimmed off the top of the Koss Corp earnings over the course of six years, mostly to support a shopping habit, but also for things like vacations, cars, and remodeling her home. It was so bad that when federal agents raided a rented office space she had, they found 461 boxes of shoes, 34 fur coats (I can hear PETA running this direction as we speak), and 65 racks of clothing, many of which still had the price tags attached. Some of those price tags had numbers like $20,000 on them. I paid half that for my car.
It was recently released that the attorney representing Sue, as she is known, against the six federal charges of wire fraud that are pending against her "intend[s] to show that mental health issues played a substantial role in Ms. Sachdeva's conduct." Ummm...no. I don't think so. I understand that there are some people out there who obsessively hoard things, but I can't imagine that would be the case here. If the federal agents who raided Sachdeva's home had found stacks of old newspapers, boxes of used staples, thirteen old bird cages, and a box filled with old car keys then maybe I could see it. But skimming off the top of your company's profits in order to go somewhere warm in the winter, or to remodel your house, or to buy a Mercedes, that's not a mental illness, okay? That's criminal behavior. And that's greed. Over the course of two weeks in September 2009, Sachdeva transferred $1.6 million via wire transfer from Koss to herself or her creditors. That is staggeringly close the the $2 million in profits that Koss reported for the ENTIRE YEAR in 2009. I believe that was an "unusual behavior," which is another term the attorney used, but I don't believe it is mental illness. No way, no how. The only mental illness is in the people who believe that jazz. But then again, I am not getting paid ungodly sums of money an hour to defend this woman who is so obviously guilty. So I guess when it came down to it I might try to pull out the mental card as well. I mean, isn't that the way we do things these days? It seems a lot better than taking responsibility for our own actions.