Monday, January 25, 2010

Free Writing With Garrison Keillor

There is a pretty neat website out there called "One Minute Writer" in which they provide a timer and an idea and then you are supposed to start the timer and then write about the topic for that one minute, after which you submit it to the website and they put it up. I always thought that was a pretty good idea, a neat sort of exercise for the mind, and so I have decided to do that with a decidedly Big Dave and Company feel. What I have done is started an episode of "The News from Lake Wobegon" by Garrison Keillor, and it is listed as being about 14 minutes and change long, so what I am doing is giving you a free write for the duration of that podcast, with poor grammar, no real direction, and paragraphs. It is sort of hard to do, because right now I am actually feeling a sort of adrenaline pumping through me as if I get points for length in this exercise, which I don't, so I don't know what my problem is. My problem is, actually, that with me trying in vein to type really fast and get as much volume as I can into this post I am making my normal amount of errors times two, so I continue to have to go back and fix and erase and whatnot, and I just sort of end up losing ground. But I just checked and I am about four minutes into this ordeal, and so I have a lot of time and so I am starting to calm down and get into a groove. That's not true. I just said that to make all of us feel better, whether or not it worked. I am always trying to make things better for people, so that we all might live a little bit of a better life. I figure that is the best way to make a difference in this world, don't you think? I can tell you another problem that I am having: this episode of "The News From Lake Wobegon" is pretty funny and it is very much distracting me because I am trying to listen to it at the same time that I am trying to string together coherent thoughts and sentences for you and you know what? It's not working particularly well. Another problem? It turns out that I am just a little more prolific than I realized that I was, so now we are about halfway though the podcast and this post is getting longer than I every dreamed that it was going to be. And I am also running out of things to say, which normally isn't such a big deal because I can just end it, but in this timed sort of exercise I have to keep going, and I am getting that feeling like you get on a date that isn't going great, where just feel like you need to keep making conversation because you just sort of have to, but it is never quite right. I mean, what do you say? What can I say that is going to keep you interested; keep you from switching over to another blog or YouTube or something? I am not sure that I have enough time to tell a story, to weave a tale, that you would like. And to be honest I am not good at doing that anyway. I have trouble writing fiction for the most part, which is why I stick to things like news and events, but here I am wading through a swamp of Garrison Keillor trying to keep my post high and dry, and none of it is coming together particularly well. I am starting to regret not only doing this post in this way, but also my choice of the 14 minute podcast. I should have gone with the 8 minute version and I would have been done by now. Way done, like five minutes ago. But I am not; I solder on towards a merciful end. And apparently I start blogging like a self-indulged douchebag in the process. We need to put a stop to that right quick. I apologize. Anyway, Garrison has just faked me out by coming to a point that I had hoped was the end of his story, but it was not. Not at all. He is like the damn Energizer bunny, although if you had every heard him speak and do his think you would know that he is the strangest of all Energizer bunnies with his slow cadence and mellow voice. But he has just said the magic words, and he is finished with his work for the day. And so am I. Thanks for reading along with my little experiment. I appreciate it.

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