Friday, December 11, 2009

One Man In A Grocery Store

Company, there are lots of cool things that happen to you in this world that you don't know are cool things until they have actually happened to you, so there is no way to really plan for them or like try to make them happen. They just sort of occur to and around you and then all the sudden you are like "Man, that was kind of cool and I am not sure why." Sometimes you can see them coming in the split seconds before they actually happen, but in that case then it's usually like the Homecoming queen shooting down the math geek when he asks for a date or you riding your bike into the back of a 1985 Ford Ranger that is parked around the block from your house: You can see it coming for like the last split second but by then it's too late to do anything about.
Anyway, this sort of neat-o occurrence happened to me just the other day, and it was just like I said. I saw it coming, I saw it developing, and I was lucky that nothing interceded to make it all go awry. I went to the friendly local grocery store and there was no one in there except me and the workers. I know, I know. You think that I am a nerd-mo-tron, and that's okay, because this is one of those things. You don't realize that it's neat because it has never happened to you before. But its amazingly cool, to know that there is no one to impede you or get in your way.
I saw this developing as soon as I pulled into the parking lot: there was only the one car, and it was way back in the employee section where aboslutely no one who was paying to purchase goods from that store would ever park in the history of ever. Not even the day before Thanksgiving. So I knew there was hope, and it actually sprung into my head before I even got out of the car :"Hey, moron, there isn't a single customer in this store. You can be the only one. Don't screw this up." I am not sure why I said this to myself because I don't know how I could have screwed up being the only person in the store unless I had called like sixteen of my friends and told them all to meet me in the bakery section or something.
So I went in and it was fantastic. It was totally quiet and peaceful and serene. I felt like a king in a castle and I want to do it again. I seriously doubt that I will ever be able to, but I want to desperately. The music was playing and there was only the sound of my feet clapping along the tiles. I even set my basket full of goods down - which you NEVER do, NEVER - and walked across the store to retrieve a cart. How cool is that? It's only possible when you are the only one in the store.
The moral of the story here, Company, if you are into morals, is that you never know when that cool moment is going to come and smack you between the eyes. So just enjoy it when it comes by and take it for what it's worth: a nice thing that may never, ever happen again. Strange how these things work, isn't it?

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