Thursday, December 03, 2009

50 Strippers and A Pound of Blow

Never in my life did I ever stop to consider what would happen if Robin Williams were sued by the nation of Brazil. Never. It's one of those questions that you just don't take time out of your busy day to consider unless you are a rampant pot smoker or a philosopher with a very misguided focus. I mean, I can come up with a list of like at least sixty-two other questions that I would consider to be more important than that one. How do birds mate? If the sky were violet instead of blue would that affect the way we tan? How does The Weather Channel plan to bring a white Christmas to someone who lives in a place where it just doesn't snow, like South Texas, the Alabama Gulf Coast, or Guam? Well, one can add two more groups to the list of people who are considering our litigation question: Brazilian officials and Robin Williams' career disaster management team.
I would assume that Robin Williams has a career disaster management team, and if he doesn't he really should. See, Robin Williams has made a name for himself by coming up with hilarious things over and over OFF THE CUFF which means that there isn't always time for the censors to bleep out things that shouldn't be said. Robin Williams doesn't have time to consider what he is going to say - if it's even slightly funny it comes out. There is very little quality control. So he should really have a career disaster management team that consists of like a super talented publicist and a good looking spokesperson, etc., because sometimes he says stuff like this: "Rio won [the Olympics] because it sent 50 strippers and a pound of blow." Yeah.
The Brazilians, to their credit, are not as angry as they could be about this. A lot of people in a lot of positions in a lot of places would be screaming bloody murder over a crack like that, but Rio de Janiero Mayor Eduardo Paes just chalked it up to jealousy, which sort of confuses me because I don't think Robin Williams was in the running to host the 2016 Games. I could be wrong I suppose. Lawyers for the cities Olympic Committee are looking into whether or not legal action is possible against Williams, although I highly doubt it will be. I mean, it is slanderous sure, I suppose you could argue that. But it didn't affect their reveiving of the Games. The IOC isn't checking into that; they would have known if strippers and blow were around, believe me. Nobody is going to not watch the Olympics because of what Robin Williams has said, so let's just sort of drop it, okay?
That is what Brazil and Rio de Janiero are doing for the most part, which is good. I would expect nothing less from a city and a country who know what they are about and don't take themselves too seriously. Much like Big Dave and Company, everything that Robin Williams says should be taken with a grain of salt. Just smile and move on, because I am sure he's been to Rio, I am sure he has loved it, and I am sure he's been in a room with 50 strippers and a pound of blow before, and I am sure he has loved that too. Whoops, I shouldn't have said that. Now I am probably going to be in trouble. Hopefully Robin Williams has a sense of humor like Rio does.

No comments: