Thursday, October 15, 2009

A-Team vs. MacGyver

Okay Company, everybody knows that the A-Team could kick Magnum P.I.'s ass. Now, I like Magnum P.I; Hardcore will contest to that and I would take him on my side in a street fight against just about everyone except for the A-Team. Or the Crypts. However, I feel deep down inside of my gut that the A-Team would have its hands full with one man, MacGyver. He is bar none the master of coming up with a plan based on what he finds around the joint: he will be forever remembered as the man who could blow his way out of a rusty prison in a fake Central American country with nothing but the light bulb, come chewing gum, and his belt. All while looking stylish in a Calgary Flames hat. But the A-Team was pretty great at doing the same thing, it just took all four of them to do it. I mean, BA could always manage to make a tank out of a broke down Chevy Nova, some corrugated tin, and whatever Face was able to con out of the local townspeople. And then, of course, Murdock would be able to fly the tank and they would use the large arsenal of weapons that they always seemed to carry with them to kick the bad guys' ass and the Colonel would say "I love it when a plan comes together." So, in the spirit of the show where they take different terrorist groups and pit them against one another in a mock battle, we are going to set the A-Team and MacGyver against one another, buy only by looking at their respective pros and cons, and then I will pick a winner. How do you feel about that, Company.

The A-Team

Pros: group of four people working together; top-level Army training; sweet van; each man is unbelievably good at one thing; kick-ass intro music; chicks dig them; huge firepower; always telling kids to stay in school

Cons: always being chased by Army; BA won't fly; short relationships; Murdock is bat-shit crazy

MacGyver

Pros: Swiss Army knife; always good at coming up with a plan; mysterious Phoenix Foundation training; golden flowing mullet; not unbelievably good at one thing but sort of great at everything; Jeep or '57 Chevy always close at hand; extremely mobile; kick-ass into music

Cons: spends too much time trying to do good deeds for everyone; Pete Thornton too chubby to be much help; hates guns, will only use them to hit people

This is a terribly hard pick for me to make, like when you are at Delaware Park trying to pick the 1-2 quinella for the fifth race. It just can't be done with any certainty. In reality, or in as much reality as we can get when talking about two 80s-era television shows, if MacGyver and the A-Team every had to face off, either there would be a sudden and violent rip in the space-time continuum, or they would realize that they are both good guys and they would team up against the bad guy that is trying make them fight one another.
That being said, if for whatever reason they actually finally came head-to-head, my gut tells me to pick the A-Team. I know, it's hard. They are very evenly matched. I consulted Mike-a-licious on this one and he thinks that the A-Team would probably win, but MacGyver would probably escape and survive, and I am tempted to believe him. But when it comes right down to it, I have to pick the A-Team because of sheer number. Mac is always working alone or with some nimrod that he picks up along the way, the A-Team can work together like a team in an inspirational movie about high school football. So I think that is why the call goes to the A-Team, but only if there are all of them. If it is MacGyver vs. any one member of the A-Team, I go with Mac in a heartbeat, with no questions asked. But when it's MacGyver vs. the A-Team, I'll take the A-Team.

1 comment:

KingBobb said...

Murdock being bat-shit crazy shouldn't be considered a con