Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Peg-a-saurus Rex and the Stuffed Beaver

One of our local Native American casinos has been running ads featuring a cartoon moose and a cartoon beaver. And they are lame. Really lame. To the point that I turn them off when they come on the TV. But they are out there and that is fine. So someone at this casino thought it would be a good idea to get some stuffed animals and give them away, along with flowers, to their patrons who were mothers on Mother's Day. And that's a fine idea. And since the casino's ads featured a moose and a beaver they chose to have the stuffed animals be moose and beavers. This is where it went wrong. Because you don't give away stuffed beavers to mothers on Mother's Day. And you sure as hell don't let me know about it.
I found out because Peg-a-saurus Rex went to that casino on Mother's Day with her family, and she told Stepmom what she had received. And Stepmom spilled the beans to me. So of course the first thing I did was call the Peg-a-saurus rex on the phone and leave a voice mail saying "Why aren't you answering the phone? Are you too busy playing with your beaver?" And when she called back I proceeded to make beaver jokes and comments to her for the next half hour, all while giggling like a little schoolgirl, which led her to ask the Stepmom "Did you have to tell him about that?" And she did. Because I thought it was hilarious. I was laughing so hard that I was choking; gasping for breath. It was amazing. Because seriously, you don't give away stuffed beavers on Mother's Day.
If you are a business owner, you really should consult with someone of the younger generation, or at least someone with a perverted mind and perverted sense of humor, before you have a promotion or you generate a new slogan. Because otherwise you will end up having you and your customers as the butt of many awful jokes. All the marketing people at this casino would have had to do was to call me up, or ask their 15 year old son, and they would have realized that it is not a good idea to give away a stuffed beaver on Mother's Day. Maybe on Father's Day or Flag Day or for their anniversary, but not on Mother's Day. A few people got the stuffed moose, which is fine. Those were the lucky ones. But most of the patrons, including the Peg-a-saurus Rex, received a stuffed beaver. For Mother's Day! I still can't believe it. You don't give that as a gift. End of discussion.
So anyway, I hope that all you mothers got wonderful gifts and had wonderful Mother's Days. I really think that Peg-a-saurus Rex's stuffed beaver is the best gift, even if only for it's comedic value. Oh, and it's value to me to torture her with. I also hope that everyone has learned from this little story. Always be careful with what you say or do, because it's so easy to pervert ideas and intentions. But there is a bright side. At least they didn't give out stuffed roosters.

This post originally appeared on May 13, 2008.

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