Thursday, October 22, 2009

Cake Wreck Makes Me Feel Bad

Do you like weddings? Do you like cake? Do you like it when things get fucked up? Then you should probably go take a look at Cake Wrecks. I'll wait.


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Welcome back. So that is Cake Wrecks. My guess here is that you have either spent the last two hours surfing around that site looking at pictures of cakes that look like they were made by a baker who has been required by the state to wear a helmet around at all times for his or her protection. Or, you saw one picture and decided it was not for you. I am going to venture that is what happened because there doesn't seem to be any sort of middle ground when it comes to Cake Wrecks. Don't you agree?
Well, I don't agree. Hey, there is nothing that says I have to agree with the things that I say. Don't try to use your logic to fight that, it won't work. Anyhow, I sort of like Cake Wrecks. I sort of like it because it makes me giggle to see just how terribly awful some of those cakes are, but it also makes me sort of feel bad for the bakers because, quite frankly, making cakes is not the easiest thing in the world even when they just have to be square or round, I can't imagine having to make them into like dolphins or the Eiffel Tower or something. So Cake Wrecks makes me giggle and it sort of makes me feel bad for the people who tried hard but failed miserably and it also, I suppose, makes me feel a little bit sad for the people who had to have that at their wedding. But then again, very few people remember their wedding cake, because for one it all got eaten, and two the part in the freezer got eaten a year later and everybody remembers the dress more than anything. But most of all, more than all of those things, Cake Wrecks makes me feel like shit.
Yeah, I said it. A blog that does nothing but comment on pictures of wedding cakes gone horribly, horribly wrong makes me feel like shit. But it also sort of gives me a little glimmer of hope. More on that later. Let me tell you the story behind how it made me feel like shit. I was cruising around Cake Wrecks after I saw it somewhere and I was stunned by it because, I don't know it you knew this, but Cake Wrecks is a national phenomenon. Oh yeah, it gets like a eleventy billion hits a week and it has been on all sorts of national media outlets. That's how I found out about it, I saw it on I think Yahoo! So anyway, I was surfing around this national phenomenon and wondering how it became so and how I can go ahead and become the same, and I uttered the phrase "Well sure it's super popular, but I bet it's been around for like six years." Yeah, not really. Turns out it's been since May of 2008. Hmmm. That's not that far from late March of 2008, now is it? So, in basically the same amount of time, Cake Wrecks has been able to a.) look a lot cooler than I do and b.) become a lot more popular. I mean, I solve the worlds problems with sagacity, aplomb, and bad grammar, and all they do is show pictures of cakes.
So that made me feel like shit. I am not going to lie. I mean, they are super popular, why aren't I? I know that I have a very dedicated merry band of followers, and I wouldn't give that up for anything, but I also want like 2.4 million other people who read my thoughts every day. Cake Wrecks has that, why can't I? You can see why I sort of feel like shit. However, being the stand up, everyday, optimistic kind of guy that I am, I AM able to take a small ray of hope from this whole fiasco. See, as far as I can see, Cake Wrecks was never a Blog of Note, just like me. I have never been a Blogger Blog of Note. So...as you can see, there is still hope for me I suppose. I am just maybe a little bit behind the Cake Wrecks curve. So what. I will get there eventually. Unless of course I turn into some sort of a Cake Wrecks. Hahahaha! I know, that was a terrible pun.

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