Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Ten Pins and a Heavy Ball

Ten pins and a heavy ball. It seem so simple, doesn't it? You fling the heavy ball sixty feet down a heavily oiled wood floor and knock down as many of the ten pins as you can. You have sixty three tries to get as many of those pins as possible. There is one catch though...at the edges are these troughs that take your ball around all the pins. It's bowling. It sounds so simple, so easy. It's not.As you may have guessed tonight was my first night of the bowling league that I joined this year. The Ice Queen asked if I wanted to get in a league with her husband, son, and her sons buddies. I didn't want to. Not that I don't like the guys or have a problem being social, I just know how unbelieveably bad at bowling I am.
Oh yeah, I am terrible. Like super terrible. Like, let's-put-a-different-name-on-the-big-overhead-screen-so-that-I-don't-have-to-be-associated-with-the-score-that-is-showing-up-there terrible. I tried to tell them that. The Ice Queen said that didn't matter, they just needed someone who would show up every week. I told her again the next day, and she said that it didn't matter, they just needed someone who would show up every week. I tried to make it as plain and clear and simple as I could how bad I was.
And oh was I bad. It's been worse for me, that's for sure, but it's been better, that's for sure. I have definitely the lowest average in my league, and I wouldn't be surprised if I had the lowest average for someone in a league in the entire state. I should look into that. I am not going to tell you what my average was, because it's shamefully low (I tried to tell them!), as in the "I'm not sure if we should turn the air conditioner on or not at this temperature, maybe a fan will just do" range. It was truly awful, and it was what always seems to happen with me. I am always iffy on the first game, terrible on the second game, and better on the third game. That's just how it goes when I go bowling; it's like an upside down bell curve. If I had thrown in my second game what I threw in my first game, which wasn't good in and of itself, I would have had an average that I might have not been ashamed to tell you. Unfortunately, no. I was down with the third graders who have the big air filled bumpers in the gutters, which would have been nice because I spent an awful lot of time there.
I did, however have a good time. The guys were cool and we told a lot of jokes. And I would suppose that there is nowhere to go but up, although I shouldn't say that because I am sure that I will be able to find somewhere below it on at least a couple of occasions this season. Plus, with my Biblically low average there will be very little pressure for me to perform as we go on through the season, so that is good. I guess we will have to see what happens, but I expect and hope to get better as it gets on and I bowl more and more. I mean, it's only ten pins and a heavy ball, so it can't be THAT hard, can it?


Anonymous said...

If theres women like the one in the picture there i would have a hard time concentrating to. and yes i would have heavy balls to.

crawdad said...

well on the up side. you set the bar pretty low so nowhere to go but up. just remember in bowling you only use one hand on the balls. something to remember