Monday, September 21, 2009

It's Just Another Manic Monday

Well Company, I believe that it is time to make a startling confession to you. I know that you all look up to me as a celebrated champion of goodness and hilarity, a beacon of enlightenment in the dark forest of the blogosphere, and the most exciting thing to happen to the podcast since the invention of the sound effect, but I am a lot more like you than you probably realize. That's right, Company, even though being crazy famous takes up a terrible amount of my time, I still work a regular job, just like you and your uncle and that guy that lives two doors down and is always screaming "Hey, some of us have to work in the morning!"
I am one of those people, I have been for a little over a year now. Before that I spent most of my working like, after my menial high school job that is, working shift work. Shift work, for those of you who have never done it, Company, is a nasty thing. It's not like where you always work the same hours, say 9 am - 5 pm or even 10 pm - 6 am, no you work vastly different hours each day of the week. Oh yeah, you might start work at five different times for your five different days of the week. And since most of these jobs are in the so-called "red collar" professions (retail, entertainment, and customer service) most of the time your days off aren't weekend days. Many times they are not even together. For instance, your days off might be Monday and Thursday.
Now, for as shitty as shift work generally is, you get used to it, and it has its good points. You get to see all different people and experience all different situations at work. You can use your days off on weekdays to get tons of stuff done. Sometimes it's nice to only have to work a three or four day stretch. Each of those points has a counterpoint though, because sometimes you go ages at work without seeing the people you like, all the stuff you WANT to do happens on weekends, which sucks if you have, say, Tuesday and Wednesday off, and while sometimes you get two or three day stretches, sometimes you get nine and ten day stretches. LAME! Although I miss some of those high points, now I work in an office, Monday-Friday 8 am - 4 pm - pretty standard. And generally I like it. It's easy to plan your life, and you sleep better at night once your body gets used to the hours. And although it can be tough to get stuff done that needs to be done during bankers hours, it is in general really nice. But do you know what I noticed since working more standard hours? Mondays are really, really hard.
I don't know why. I mean, I really struggle on Monday mornings. Check that, I usually struggle mightily on Sunday night because I know I have to get up and get moving tomorrow. I never had this problem. Like, if I had a Thursday and Friday off, and I had to be at work on Saturday morning, no big deal. But now it's like I'm a soldier from the 1800s, and I am standing on my Sunday end of the battle field in say, my British Redcoat army uniform with my rifle complete with bayonet, and there, across the field staring at me is Monday Morning, except it has big artillery guns and I don't stand a chance. That's how it feels on Sunday night about the time supper is done.
It's the strangest thing, because there is essentially no difference between going back to work on Saturday morning after your two days off and going back to work Monday morning after your two days off. I don't get it, but I definitely feel it. I don't know what the hell is going on and I sort of want Robert Stack with his Unsolved Mysteries crew to come an investigate. I mean, isn't there already a book about this? There should be. Maybe I will write one, and then I can ratchet up my fame a little bit more, and I can quit my day job to be a famous author and then I won't have to experience this whole Monday Morning phenomenon, because it is really starting to freak me out, man.

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