Anne Frank - A German Jewish girl who was born between the two World Wars, she became famous for her diary chronicling her time hiding from Nazi occupiers in World War II Amsterdam. Her entire family was eventually sold out to the Nazis and Anne died in a concentration camp in 1945.
Pros - Pretty girl; talented writer; posthumously famous; foundation and endowment named after her; not actually who Randall was making fun of in Clerks 2; very good at hide and go seek.
Cons - Died too soon, lack of schooling; spent all of time in Amsterdam in attic; not quite good enough at hide and go seek.
Helen Keller - First person who was both deaf and blind to earn a bachelors degree, back when you had to do more than just pay and show up, she was a highly educated woman who proved to be an important author and political activist despite being both deaf and blind since the age of nineteen months or so. She also made Anne Sullivan not so much a household name but one that could at least be found in Wikipedia.
Pros - lecturer, political activist; author; highly educated; overcame large disability; well-endowed family; on state quarter.
Cons - lecturer, political activist, deaf, blind, Anne Sullivan taught her everything she knows; butt of many, many tasteless jokes; on Alabama state quarter.
Well, I must say that this is a close one. Anne Frank definitely comes off as the more loveable person here, although they both demand a certain degree of impression and admiration and respect for what they did. I, however, get this feeling that Anne Frank would be an enchanting girl on the street getting a flower from a passing businessman, had she even been able to be out and about on the streets of Amsterdam, and that picture would be in Life Magazine. Helen Keller, I get the feeling, would come off haughty and condescending if she hadn't suffered a series of strokes and died in the 1960s and were here right now, but I don't know. I never met either one of them. Anne Frank might have been a total b-yatch and Helen Keller might be the life of the party; I can't really say. I do know that while both ladies have a touching and endearing story, although in vastly different ways, Keller certainly did more in her life to attempt to enrich and advance society and humanity. Then again, Ms. Frank never really had a chance.
So who wins here? How do we decide this one? I am not sure. Helen Keller won but sort of lost when it came to Clerks 2, because that is who they were talking about and, well, it's Clerks 2. So I guess she's got that going for her, which is nice. I am, however, going to declare Anne Frank the winner here because that is what my gut says. I know that Helen Keller did a lot of good things in her lifetime but I just get the feeling that Anne Frank was a charmer, and she brought an amazing story to a lot of people without a stitch of help from Anne Sullivan. Sorry. That's just how it has to be.