Sunday, June 28, 2009

Calendar Confusion

     A little later today, Mike-a-licious and I will get in the car and go over to one of the friendly local towns to take in their Independence Day celebration.  If you are confused, I don't blame you, because if you look up above at the date on this post it should say "Sunday, June 28th, 2009" which, as far as I can tell, is Independence Day for no one.  American Independence Day is July 4, yet apparently we are going to be celebrating it today.
     Now, I understand the reasoning behind it, I really do.  Set yourself apart.  Probably way easier to book the fireworks company.  Less competition so more people will come to your fireworks and spaghetti feed, more people will hit the vendors on your downtown street, and the whole nine yards.  Fine.  But you are still a whole week off, and that irks me.
     This phenomenon is not limited to Independence Day.  At least around Independence Day most communities are within a day or two.  Like on July 3 or July 5.  It seems to be the worst around Thanksgiving and Christmas, especially Christmas.  I don't know exactly it has become this way, maybe because Christmas shopping starts sometime right around Labor Day.  Stop me if this seems familiar: In the town where I grew up the Christmas parade always took place before Thanksgiving and the Thanksgiving parade always took place sometime in October.  Yeah, that's messed up.  It's like the powers that be have their planner flipped to the wrong month, like I always do at work, except they are going the wrong way.  I always have my planner flipped a month or two ahead, so then I would expect them to be putting the parades in like January.  Unless they were actually trying to have the damn thing in November, then they might actually hit the mark and have it in December.
     Halloween too, is a victim of this practice.  When was the last time that trick or treating in your community actually occurred on October 31?  When was the last time it actually happened at night?  I always have to give up my Saturday to throw candy at the little ungrateful bastards who are carted in from downtown to get candy from the good neighborhoods.  Seriously, there are actually parents who pile their kids into the van and take them from town to town to get tons of candy.  I am against this practice so when I see it usually hand out napkins or auto parts or something instead.  Maybe some Big Dave and Company souvenir shot glasses, you know, get 'em started early.  The point it is that I don't have to hand out candy because it's not Halloween, it's like October 28.
      The ultimate faux holidays that aren't even celebrated on their proper dates are Washington and Lincoln's Birthdays.  Those poor guys, who did so much for the birth and growth of this nation, don't even get their birthdays celebrated on their birthdays, they just get lumped together into Presidents Day, which no one knows the date of unless of course you work in retail at a mall.  There is also some sort of Washington's Birthday Observed on calendars, which I fail to understand anything about other then that it is not on Washington's birthday.
     See?  We do this date moving thing to just about every holiday that has a set date.  And it's wrong.  Your Independence Day fireworks should be on Independence Day, or at least within a day of it, I don't care if that means they are on a tuesday.  Your Christmas parade should happen no earlier than December 15th, I don't care if there are snowbanks on the sides of the road and it's cold as sin.  And lets put a cake with a candle at the base of the Washington Monument actually on Washington's Birthday for a change.  That would be nice.  Let's be true to our calendars and see how that works.  I bet it works just great.

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