Wednesday, May 06, 2009

Tinfoil Hats

Okay Company, so I was surfing around some Blogs of Note the other day, trying to figure out what makes them so much superior to mine since mine has never been so recognized, and I stumbled across one that had for one of its subject listings the term "tinfoil hats" which made me think to myself "Why aren't there more things written out there about tinfoil hats?" First of all, here is a picture of one on a cat: Actually, there were a lot of pictures of cats wearing tinfoil hats. TONS. There were also a lot of pictures that someone somewhere posted of strange tinfoil hats. It's not so much that they were strange, they were just strange as tinfoil hats go. Let me explain. I would expect most tinfoil hats to be made by bat shit crazy people who are trying to prevent the aliens from reading their brain waves or by trying to improve their reception of the radio stations that they get on their teeth. So I sort of expect the hat to fit that mold, with all sorts of crazy pieces sticking up at all manner of angle or direction, maybe with a neat little tinfoil tassle on top like in the cat picture. But this dude, or chick, or whomever, took the idea of the tinfoil hat a totally different direction. He actually made regular looking hats but out of tinfoil, like a baseball cap or one of those hats German guys up in the Alps are always wearing.

This guy apparently owns more than one hat:



I am really glad that he got that stylish t-shirt to inform all of us of his multi-hat lifestyle. I was worried that maybe he only had the one, so that if it got dirty or maybe a playful dog stole it in the park one day his head would get cold. In Japan there is cult that wears specially made tinfoil hats. Apparently, they believe in a conspiracy based entirely on the electromagnetic field, and a two millimeter thick layer of Cost Mart tinfoil is all that it takes to defeat the conspirators. That kind of makes me wonder what kind of lazy punks are running this conspiracy. Because I am guessing that if they have the kind of money to manipulate the electromagnetic field in some way, they have the money and the technology to defeat simple cooking utensils.

Tinfoil hats also have something to do with Linux for all you IT professional types. I got as far in the definition as the words "floppy" and "bootable" and I has to stop because I couldn't stop snickering. As to why they would call it that I don't think anybody will really know, or science will ever be able to figure out. No, I believe it has to do with keeping you safe from spyware or something, but I am not sure. Contact your friendly local computer person if you have more questions regarding Tinfoil Hat Linux, because I barely know how to type. But the site I was looking at to find out about Tinfoil Hat Linux had this sweet picture on it.

Isn't that cute? My buddy Christoff has a picture on the Linuz penguin where his front license plate would be if he lived in a state that required a front license plate. I always thought that was pretty cool. His now wife got that for him, which was nice. Way better than what I have in my front license plate spot, which is just another license plate. Just like my back one but without the stickers.
What if I put stickers of tinfoil hats on my license plate instead of the ones with the month and year on them? I am sure that they would put me in a nice hospital where they made me wear a helmet all the time. It would be pretty sweet looking on my DykeSedan though. Especially once I put a sweet tinfoil hood ornament on there to guide my way. I wouldn't seem so crazy then, now would I?
Did you know there is a song about tinfoil hats? Well there is. There are probably several but if you follow this link you can hear this specific one being sung by Sylvia and Emmeline Spankhurts, who are not cats, okay? They are otters. Looks like someone wore their tinfoil hat a little too long and got aluminum poisoning through osmosis.
Interestingly enough, creating videos of otters singing songs about tinfoil hats is not generally regarded as a symptom of aluminum poisoning. But if you start having hypersensitivity to things like light or darkness, heat or cold, noise, etc. then you might be in trouble and you should seek medical attention. And you should probably start taking your tinfoil hat off at night. Unless of course you have some really old tinfoil that is actually made out of tin like from back in the day, in which case you would probably get tin poisoning and should look for symptoms such as eye irritation, redness, or pain, vomiting, nausea, etc. You know, more old school symptoms to go with your old school hat.

So there you go: all you need to know about the ins and outs of the tinfoil hat. You can find a lot more out there if you just sort of look around because as it turns out there is a lot of stuff out there. So look around an enjoy. And have fun with your tinfoil hat, Company. It looks just lovely on you.

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