Monday, May 18, 2009

Let's Talk About Pictures: Telephone

For our May special promotion, we are going to take one photo each day and comment on it.  Sounds fun, doesn't it?
     Okay, every single one of us has seen a phone like this.  Unless of course you were brought up under a rock or maybe you are four.  You may have seen it in a different color, probably tan or maybe white, but you've seen it.  Sometimes you can still find them in hotels, especially the mom and pop-type places that used to be on the highway until the freeway went through and now they are sort of just off the beaten path.  Those ones usually are super technologically advanced, at least as far as these phones go, in that they have a little red light on top of them in case you have a message and they have this little plastic insert that goes around the buttons that tells you all about the features of the phone and how to call out and how to reach the front desk.  
     Part of the reason these phones are to cool is because there is like this little secret cavity back behind the place the receiver sits so you can grad be receiver in one hand and the base of the phone in the other and sit on the edge of your desk to take your important call like you are Barney Miller or something.  And you need that little handle cavity back there because you have to take the phone with you as you wander around the room because the little curly cord that connects the receiver to the base looks like it can stretch for miles, and it can if the phone is attached to the wall like you were used to when you grew up, but the base station is not attached to the counter so when you walk away it will come with and crash to the floor and make an awkward ringing sound as the clappers hit the bells that make it ring.  So anyway, the cord won't unwrap unless the base station is attached so you just take the base station with you as you walk around until you wrap it around your legs like fifty-six times and you fall over.  I guess that the only ending when you use this phone is that something falls down eventually and makes you utter a curse word that the customer service representative on the other end hears and causes them to start thinking less of you.
     Two things that I see in this photo though that I do not like about these phones.  First of all, look at the ridges.  Tons of tiny ones that give it a nice looking texture but makes it really hard to clean when you get pizza sauce or Kool-Aid on it.  You just can't get down into those ridges without some rubbing alcohol and a Q-Tip.  And for someone who spills EVERYTHING on EVERYTHING that is a big deal.  And I always make a habit of eating over my phone, because, quite frankly, I can't imagine why you would eat anywhere else.  So it's not a good situation for me.
     You know what else is not a good situation?  Take a look at that keypad.  Those keys are in the reverse order of the keys on a calculator.  Same ten keys, totally opposite order.  On the phone, the 1 is on the top.  On your adding machine; on the bottom.  Figure that one out.  You think the people at Ma Bell would have gotten together with the folks at TI and had some continuity.  This doesn't seem like a big deal, but it's messing with my head.  I used to work in a job where I used an adding machine almost constantly.  I was so proficient at it that I could do it very quickly without looking.  Fine.  But now I work at a job where I am on the phone constantly, dialing phone numbers, which because the phone is backwards from an adding machine, I mess up ALL THE TIME.  I can't get a phone number right to save my life.  GAG ME IN A FREAKING SPOON!

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