Saturday, February 14, 2009

Valentine's Day

     So it's Valentine's Day, kiddos.  A day that really exists to celebrate St. Valentine, who was an ACTUAL REAL saint back in the day, or so I would assume.  Oh, and it was a day that the mob in Chicago chose to kill a bunch of one another.  That was a bold statement.  Maybe it was the many millions of bullets from a Tommy Gun ripping through the hearts of the gangsters that inspired the folks at Hallmark to create a fake holiday in order to sell cards and chocolates.  Or maybe Hallmark gets the short end of the stick.  Maybe it was the heart shaped box industry that put this deal together.  I don't know.  But either way it's a holiday that is all about money.  The people in the love industry for certain.  But let's not pin all the blame on the sappy saps at Russel Stover with their devilish chocolates.  There is just as big a thriving counter culture when it comes to Valentine's Day that sprang up solely to feed of the broken hearts and minds of all those jaded by the game of love, which really isn't a game at all.  And these folks are not to the point where they just don't want to hear about it, they are to the point where they are paying me $5 per hour to stand in The Worldwide Headquarters and fling water balloons filled with shaving cream out the windows at happy couples emerging from their romantic Valentine's Day movies (hey, you've got to make money when you can, these snazzy graphics and witty comments don't just generate themselves for free).
     And so it goes.  I believe the thing that I like the least about Valentine's Day is that, in the end, it is a day dedicated to love that makes everyone unhappy in the end.  See, here's the deal: the people who do not have a significant other don't like it.  We have already covered that.  Guys hate it because it is a pressure packed holiday in which you have to pony up with exactly the right thing to impress your lady friend, and it's more of a hassle.  Plus, it puts most of us into an area that we are deeply uncomfortable.  Trust us.  For the ladies, it's often a day of disappointment when the boys forget or do something lame or worse, do something embarrassing.  See, Valentine's Day is a day to celebrate the haves having that very clearly leaves out the have nots.  It's not a pretty picture.  There is nothing like having something wonderful that you don't have being rubbed in your face.  Have ever noticed that there is no National Celebration of Money Day?  That's because we would just find it wrong to celebrate having money in the face of the millions who do not.  So then why do we find it so okay to celebrate having romance in the face of the millions who do not?  It's can't be Hallmarks fault, because National Celebration of Money Day cards would sell just fine.  
     In the end, with Valentine's Day, like everything else, take it in moderation.  For those of you who have reason to celebrate, please do so in an appropriate manner.  No one wants to see you humping like dogs on the village green.  Be discreet, maybe go out and have dinner or whatnot but don't rub it in anyone's face.  You don't have to carry the six foot high stuffed teddy bear your husband got you all around town strapped into the passenger seat of your convertible.  And those of you with no reason to celebrate, let's tone down the bitterness, please?  Let the lovers be in love.  I know a day like Valentine's Day doesn't inspire much hope, but please do not begrudge.  Because there is a time and place for everyone.  And there is a bright light on the horizon.  You know how cheap those heart-shaped boxed of chocolate are going to be next week?  And who doesn't deserve to give themselves a Pot of Gold?

1 comment:

Roxy said...

Happy Valentine's Day, Big guy!!