Thursday, February 19, 2009

Something To Be Happy About: Lines From Favorite Movies or Poems

The entire editorial staff amazingly picked up copies of the same book from the same friendly local library used book sale; a book entitled 14,000 Things To Be Happy About. Since during these trying times Big Dave and Company likes to think of itself as a glimmering beacon of hope, laughter, and good feeling, as part of our February Special Feature we are going to bring you something out of this book to be happy about. And then, after the Special Promotion is over you can find something to be happy about in the top right corner. Wonderful!

Lines From Favorite Movies or Poems

If this doesn't make you happy then you have problems and you should get yourself checked. Because even if your favorite line comes from "The Raven" it is your favorite and it should still bring you some sort of joy. Okay, even if not joy then satisfaction.

When I was one-and-twenty,
I heard a wise man say,
"Give crowns and pounds and guineas,
But not your heart away."

How can that no uplift you even at least just a little bit? It is positively lyrical, and it it filled with wonderful connotations: hope and advice and love and wonder. Regardless of how the rest of the poem goes, it is still uplifting in this very moment, no? One of my favorite poems is one that is meant to be uplifting, and has its heart in sort of the right place, but it incredibly, shockingly, blatantly racist. It's called "The White Man's Burden" and it was written by Rudyard Kipling, yes THAT Rudyard Kipling of The Jungle Book and Mowgli and Baloo and all that jazz. He wrote it for America actually, as wise words from the British Empire to America about how to look towards the people in its new found colonies. It says that America should take it upon itself to lift up, enlighten, and improve the lives of those whose lands it is colonizing. Heady and intensely interesting stuff, but enough about history. The bottom line is that it's horribly racist and condescending, but I like it nonetheless. The skill and talent behind the prose cannot be denied. It flows like a river of nacho cheese over truck stop tortilla chips. I bet no one has ever compared Kipling to that before.
The part of this whole thing to be happy about that I like the best, however, is the movie lines. OH MY GOD. I don't know that I could survive on a daily basis without a bevy of movie lines. My buddy G-Funk is the most amazing when it comes to this. Tommy Boy. Line for line we could do it. Tommy Tutone? He was always a whiz with lines from Super Troopers. Dr. J will do Office Space. Terrible movies that endear us because they flow so easily and so well off our tongues. Ask Adrianne about "Got my Cheese Whiz, boy?" It's true. Everyone loves movies. As Dane Cook relates, "no one ever says 'fuck movies.'" And it is true. Even if you don't go out to watch a ton of movies like myself, just about everyone who has seen one appreciates a good flick. "Franky my dear, I don't give a damn." Great line. Classic. "I'll be back." Now he's the Governor of California but no one knows Arnold Schwarzenegger for anything but Terminator. And if you say Kindergarten Cop I will throw a book at that face, although that movie did spawn one of my favorite Arnold lines: "It's not a tumor." Say it in your mind with the Arnold voice and it will be like thirty-six times funnier. So I guess Kindergarten Cop is okay. But if you say Twins I will be forced to light you on fire. And so it works. Just say your favorite line from your favorite movie and all will be well. The book strikes again.

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