Monday, January 19, 2009
I am sure you've read about my cell phone. About how I dropped it in boiling hot water twice in a row the other day and then went ahead in a fit of something and ordered myself a new one quickly without thinking about it, without figuring out and analyzing all my options. Well, tonight I managed to one up myself. I took the Subaru that M&M borrowed me and I went to do my laundry. I went to the next town over because I still have my laundry vendetta against the local laundromats. Well, I stopped at Subway to get some dinner and when I came out the car was dead. Well, at least it wasn't running anymore. The headlights were on but dim and all the fans and radios inside were off. So I tried to start it and it wouldn't. I waited about five minutes or so and tried again and it still wouldn't start. So I freaked out, man. I called Dr. J and asked if he would be kind enough to come give me a jump, and I figured that if the car wouldn't jump then at least I had a ride, right? Well he gets there and the car fires up fine. No jump. No fuss. So he followed me home, which was nice. But I mean, what's with me? The old me, the normal me, would have waited and tried it on my own. I would have limped the car home on my own and bothered no one. But instead I freaked out and called in the troops. I interrupted peoples lives because I freaked out. You know why? Because I am running scared. I have allowed my recent run of bad luck to affect my thinking, my being, my decision making process. I automatically freak out and assume that it is a terrible situation descending down upon me. I actually think that I am creating some of my own bad luck because I am not just relaxing and going about my business in my normal manner. I am just freaking out. I have allowed myself to begin defeating myself in a horribly cycle of badness. In the words of The Offspring "I am losing the race against myself." My bad luck has me running scared of having more. Well that's no way to be. No way to be at all. I am going to stand up and fight. It's on bad luck. You've got a lion by the tail. And if I can't beat you, I will endure you until you decide it's not worth the effort and go away. Either way I am coming for you.