Saturday, January 03, 2009

The Poll

     As you probably saw, the other night I spent the better part of the night, and I don't mean evening, I mean the overnight hours, the witching hour, the darkest moments before the dawn, scouring the Internet, more specifically the blogs that reside on the Internet, and much like the scientist that I am I was able to isolate three types of blogger: 

-  Yuppie Asshole.  These are the people who sit on their blogs and talk about sipping cappuccinos and working at their job as a chef in San Francisco and reading pretentious magazines and hanging out at bars that would make me want to rip my eyes out if I were inside of them.  Most of them live in San Fran, Boston, LA, somewhere in Florida, and they make a very concerted effort to let you know that they live in a loft in the downtown areas of those cities.  Maybe Pretentious Asshole would have been better for this category.

- Fat Idiot.  Okay, this is mostly self-explanatory.  People who are loud and opinionated and who rarely take the time to research anything or form an appropriate opinion yet still spout off about topic after topic.  They know nothing but think they know everything and regardless they want you to hear all about it.

- Photography buff.  Honestly, my favorite category.  There are a startling number of blogs out there in the world that are written by people who love to take pictures and show them to the world.  They go out and take photographs and share them.  A few of them might fall into the Yuppie Asshole category because they take themselves way too seriously, but the bulk of them just like to take pictures and share them.  And most of them are pretty good at it.

     So me being me, I put up a poll to see what kind everyone thought I was.  And, me being me, I put a totally silly answer in there just for kicks:

- Indonesian race Car Driver.

    You would think that I know myself and my readers well enough to know that putting that last one up there was a bad idea.  Of course everyone voted for that one, despite the fact that I am not Indonesian, and I am most certainly not a race car driver.  In fact I've never been to either Indonesia or a car race.  And you know, I don't even know that there is an Indonesian race car driver who has a blog out there somewhere.  I mean, there may be, I didn't research anything that in depth.  But if there is, it's most certainly not me.  In the end though I am not terribly surprised or upset that Indonesian race car driver won the poll.  But it's the results for the other three choices that confuse and frighten me a little bit.
     First off, let's talk about Photography Buff.  Someone thought I was a Photography Buff, which is very nice and absolutely fine, but slightly confusing.  I have two cameras in my home, a modern digital and modern film-based one from right before digital cameras became popular.  Both of them are used very rarely.  I am just not a picture guy.  Not to say that I don't like photography, I do.  I appreciate a good picture as much as the next guy, I am just not one to go out and take a ton.  All the pictures I put up on Big Dave and Company I find out and about on the Internet.  But than you anyway whomever voted me as a Photography Buff.  You are very kind.
     Okay, now here is my problem.  I was sort of expecting me to be labeled a Fat Idiot.  I mean, that's how I would vote if I had voted.  I readily admit that my opinion doesn't mean a whole lot, I rarely do a whole lot of research for any of my posts, I never tackle any issues of real importance, and I am usually out to make fun of or mercilessly mock something. There you go: Fat Idiot.  Yet no one wanted to vote for that.  Instead, three of you decided to vote for Yuppie Asshole.  This does not make me angry.  This makes me very, very concerned and a little scared.  Mostly because I don't think that I fit the mold.  I live in a small town.  I work multiple jobs to make ends meet.  I hang out in dive bars and watch a lot of football and college basketball.  I don't own a pair of khaki pants anymore.  I don't own a sweater.  But most of all I try VERY hard to not be a Yuppie Asshole.  I strive to be unpretentious, even if just a little smarmy.  So it worries me.  I mean, if you think I am a Yuppie Asshole that is fine.  And if that is what I am that's fine too.  I am just worried because I desperately don't want to be seen as one.  Which maybe makes me the biggest Yuppie Asshole of them all.

No comments: