Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Broken: Phone?

     Big Dave has had a rough start to his 2009.  So as part of our January Special Promotion we are going to offer a look at a few of the things that have broken under his hand or gone wrong on his watch.  Today we are going to look at his cell phone.

     Well Company, if you are a regular reader of Big Dave and Company then I am sure you have read about my poor cell phone.  If you haven't read about it, or maybe you have smoked too much reefer and have short-term memory problems, then you can read about the incident here and the aftermath here.  But here is the deal.  This was an especially cruel joke from karma or fate or whatever it is that is toying with me.  Because it led me to believe that something else had broken but in fact it hadn't.
     "Huh?"  I can hear you asking that from all the way over here.  And I am not only in a different room but I am most likely in a different town.  And I am certainly at least down the hall from you.  And I could still hear it.  Because the way this one shook down is so absurd it's hardly believable.  The worst part, the absolute WORST part is that most of the problems here are the result of sheer and unadulterated stupidity on the part of yours truly.  Okay, so I dropped my phone in hot boiling water twice.  That's on me, because you would think that I would be grown up and experienced enough with the ways of life to not try to talk on my phone while I am cooking.  Especially since my phone does not fit neatly into the contour of my neck.  And you would think that I have evolved far enough beyond being a monkey to not put my phone back in the exact same place that I set it when it fell the first time.  Fine, but it was the knee-jerk reaction on my part during the aftermath that probably shocks and upsets me the most.
     Long ago they were asking on a radio station I was listening to what would cause people more of a disruption: losing your wallet or your cell phone.  Well, I always thought my answer was wallet but apparently it is cell phone.  Because about three hours after I dropped it in the water, when it wasn't working right, I was on eBay looking for a replacement.   And I got one, used, for not much money.  Well, it was right about the time that my winning bid was accepted that Sister suggested that I put it in a bowl with some rice because the rice would draw out any moisture still inside the phone.  I did not do this.  I put it in a plastic Ziplock bag with some rice.  I was a little mad at myself that I didn't think of it myself but I figured it wouldn't hurt.  Lo and behold, the next day, after I removed about a dozen grains of rice from the inside of my phone, I slapped the battery in and turned it on.  And it worked.  Perfectly.  Or at least as perfectly as it had worked before.  Coincidentally my non-returnable replacement phone shipped that day.
     I think the thing that gets me most about this whole ordeal, like I said before, was my knee-jerk reaction.   I have always tried to take a deep breath and think about things until all the options were thought through and laid out.  I usually like to sleep on things.  And I am notorious about dragging my feet when making major purchases.  So I am still stunned that I was on it that night to get a new phone, and not a better one, a carbon copy of the one I already owned.  There must have been some sort of gas leaking into the Worldwide Headquarters that was messing with my brain functions, because that is nothing like me at all.  Oh well.
     So now I have two identical cell phones, which I guess could be worse.  I have a spare should I ever need it.  And I will have a second battery and a second power cord and whatnot.  So it's not too big a deal I guess.  But I still don't like it.  I don't like it one bit, but all we can do is just sort of move on.  It could have been worse.  
     By the way, I would be playing with my new used phone right now if it wasn't Martin Luther King, Jr. Day and the Post Office was closed.  So Happy Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.  If there were more people in this world with his kind of influence and countenance then the world would most definitely be a better place.

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