Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Area Drowning Survivor Released from Hospital

     Amid a chorus of cheers a local LG AX5000 cellular phone who nearly fell victim to a near double-drowning yesterday was released from Kitchen Counter Memorial Appliance Medical Center into general use amid a large group of well-wishers.  The phone fell mercilessly into a pot of rapidly boiling water twice yesterday while in use near the kitchen stove.  Emergency response personnel were able to rescue the AX5000 on both occasions but not before life-threatening injuries were sustained.
     While the AX5000 spent most of the evening yesterday in an inoperable disassembled state, until late in the evening when Waterborne Injury Specialist Dr. Sally Brown prescribed the innovative and controverisal rice treatment by which the victim was placed in a bag of rice in an attempt to draw out any latent water.  Later in the morning, after an unexpected emergency rice removal procedure, the patient was deemed to be working properly after a series of tests and released back to the grateful owner.  No phone call has been yet placed since the AX5000's release.

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