Thursday, December 18, 2008

Morningwood Estate

     Does the hectic nature of everyday life have you down?  Are you tired of the ins and outs of the daily grind?  Do you have an obscene amount of money to spend to get away from all that hustle and bustle.  Then consider a relaxing and exclusive vacation to beautiful Morningwood Estates.
     Sir Jason and Lady Rebecca welcome you to their beautiful, landscaped 30 acre estate in the beautiful Northwoods where you can relax and recuperate in the finest of luxury accommodations.  Featuring all the landmarks of an English country estate transplanted to the remote country of Midwestern America, Morningwood Estate is the perfect escape that you have been waiting for.  Activities include fox hunting from horseback, deer hunting from heated school bus, cross country skiing, amateur lumberjacking, racquetball, watching servants wax your vehicle (which will be stored in a heated garage during the winter months), trout fishing in a Class IV-A trout stream, hiking, orienteering, and steeplechase. 
      Accommodations are available in Morningwood, the main house at Morningwood Estate, or in Babcock House at Morningwood Estate.  Babcock House was the original lodge at Morningwood Estate, and once played host to the summer White House while president Franklin Pierce spent three weeks escaping creditors here.  The main house, Morningwood, has served as the exclusive summer retreat of Tyler Burke since 1989.  While helicopter services are only available for Sir Jason at Lady Rebecca at Morningwood Estate, horse-covered carriage or sleigh rides are available to guests from nearby Kings Airport.  Please call 1-866-4-AM-WOOD to make reservations or enquire about room rates.  Absurdly high room rates and VERY limited availability await you in one of the following super-exclusive lodgings:

- Babcock House at Morningwood Estate Servant's Quarters
- The Grand Veranda Suite at Morningwood Estate
- The Parlor Room of Babcock House at Morningwood Estate
- Morningwood Estate Tower 
- The Babcock House at Morningwood Estate Tea Room
- Morningwood Estate Game Room
- Morningwood Estate Upper Loft Suite
- Babcock House at Morningwood Estate East Wing
- Lady Rebecca Suite in Morningwood Royalty Wing
- Small, green, unheated pup tent at the back corner of the estate grounds. (Note: this accommodation is only available if you are willing to be assigned tasks such as stoking the wood furnace, landscaping the grounds, washing dishes, or serving as a replacement fox during selected fox hunts.)

So please, call and reserve your super exclusive, ultra-relaxing year-round vacation immediately.

3 comments:

Adrianne said...

My great great aunt, the Lady Rothschild summered there with Nolan Ashcombe....they had quite the torrid affair.

P.S. Sounds like it beats the pants off of "Chuggy's Pressure Point" on Dort Hwy.

Big Dave said...

I remember The Ashcombe Scandal...that was quite the talk of the summer season! And you are right, it does beat "Chuggy's Pressure Point" but it's no match for the Don Q Inn Fantasuites in Dodgeville, WI!

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