Friday, November 07, 2008

Ten Reasons That My Plant is Lying Among Broken Shards of Mexican Mart Pot On the Floor in the Corner of My Living Room

As part of our "Ten Lists in Ten Days" special feature we here at Big Dave and Company are bringing you ten different helpful and/or informative lists on each of the first ten days in November.

1.)  The ghost who lives in my apartment was pissed at me.

2.)  The ghost who lives in my apartment was a little clumsy today.

3.)  Zach Morris climbed in my window like I was Jesse Spaino or something.

4.)  The flies amassed their counterattack for my putting up fly paper strips.

5.)  The wind blew it down through the window that was latched when I went to work in the morning but was wide open when I came home.

6.)  Rival blog competition knocked it over climbing in to bug my Worldwide Headquarters to find out all my super secret blog plans.

7.)  The plant jumped to its death because it was ashamed that it was not growing as quickly as the other one.

8.)  Nixon's cronies, now elderly and afflicted with Alzheimer's Disease, thought my Worldwide Headquarters was the Watergate Complex and broke in the window to adjust their microphones used to bug the Democratic National Committee.

9.)  The two plants had a falling out that ended in a duel and I just haven't found the bullet yet.

10.)  Someone was making a kick ass 80s ballad music video in my living room without my knowledge and they had to shatter my pot as symbolic reference to a relationship shattering due to infidelity or something while a blistering guitar solo goes on in the background.


Six said...

Number 10 is DEFINATELY the reason that your plant is busted!

TJB said...

I say #6...the man is watching, can't take the competition.