Saturday, November 15, 2008

Hunting Season Starts...Now!

     Well Company, hunting season is here and quite frankly I am scared shitless.  I mean it.  It's not even hunting season here where the Worldwide Headquarters is located.  It's hunting season back where I used to live.  And I know one thing.  If it's hunting season there, then it's going to be hunting season here soon.  Hence the source of me fear.
      I am scared shitless because there are people that I know legally going into the woods and fields with guns who shouldn't be going anywhere with guns.  Not even unloaded in a case with a Master Lock on it and a trigger lock on the gun and the safety on.  I'm serious.  There are people out there decked out in blaze orange shooting at deer that I don't think could describe to me a deer is their life depended on it.  They wouldn't know a whitetail from a tail fin.  Really, they might be shooting at a 1956 Cadillac DeVille and think it's a deer.  What the hell's with that?  How did these people get guns?  I thought you had to pass some sort of hunter's safety course to be able to shoot at living things legally.  So what is the deal with that test?  I mean, do you get like 90 points for getting your name and city on the top and then 10 points for knowing not to point the gun at your face?  That can't even be true because some of the people I know would pull the move where the gun doesn't fire and they turn it around and look down the barrel and shoot themselves in the face.
     You know what else scares the daylights out of me?  There are people hunting in the woods that are not PSYCHOLOGICALLY BALANCED.  Does that frighten anyone else?  The last couple of years in my state someone has just started shooting people in the woods because they are a minority or because they are yelling at each other or something.  Now, I don't know anyone who I think would do that, but there are some people that I have known who, if I saw that they had gone nutso and started firing at anything with blaze orange or firing towards the highway on purpose I wouldn't raise an eyebrow.  I am sorry, that's just how it is.  
     Honestly, I don't have a problem with hunting.  I don't hunt myself but I don't have a problem with it.  I actually support hunting.  I like the camaraderie that it brings.  I like the benefits to commerce it brings.  I like the responsibility it teaches.  And I like tromping around in the country.  I am pro-all those things.  And truthfully, 99% of the people I know who hunt are completely competent, responsible, well-balanced, and careful.  I mean, once in a while they might shoot 28 times at a group of 4 birds, not actually hit one but still bring one down, but they are still responsible hunters.  I know that they will not shoot me.  But there are people out there who will.  Because they will be motioning down a logging road with their loaded gun, or shooting at a deer that is eating on the roadside, or they will be hunting downtown even though there are no plants or trees there.  And I will get caught in the crossfire.  So maybe the safest place I can be is out in the woods dressed as a deer.  Or in my bunker deep beneath Wilmington, Delaware.  That must be it.  And that's on the Internet, so it must be true.

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