Monday, September 15, 2008

Why Can't I Be a Blogger Blog of Note?

     For those of you who don't know, I am a devoted follower of Blogger's Blogs of Note.  Not so much because I am interested in the blogs that they highlight or the quality writing and entertainment contained within, but because I am terribly interested in whether or not I am a Blog of Note.  So far I have not been.  And I can not understand how that can be.
     Seriously, this is the best blog for which I have ever written.  See, it even uses proper English from time to time.  I don't understand.  I really don't.  They used to put out the list of Blogs of Note every month, and every month or so I would go check things out and I would never see Big Dave and Company on the list.  Well, then they changed things around and now they update it every weekday.  Apparently the Blogs of Note guy doesn't do Saturday or Sunday.  I do.  That's another reason why I should be a Blog of Note.  Wait!  I mean, the guy who does Blogs of Note deserves weekends off.  He is a talented and smart individual who should be allowed to work from home.  Better?  I don't want to bite the hand that I want to feed me before it is even extended.  So anyway, now they update the list almost daily, and I am still not on it.  So let's take a closer look and see what it takes to be one of Bloggers Blogs of Note, shall we?
     A Blogger Account.  Well, I seem to be taken care of in this area.  Those of you who have been here since day one, like my first celebrity endorsement Guy H of Sand River, MI or the wildly popular Peg-a-saurus Rex will remember when my web address was http://bigdaveandcompany.blogspot.com.  See?  It's right in there.  Well, not really.  But when Blogger hosts your stuff they host it at blogspot.com.  It's the truth.  I don't have the time or energy to make this stuff up.  It's true.  You can actually probably put the above address in and still get to me.  Try it.  If it doesn't work assume that you messed it up somehow, retard.
     Don't make fun of your readers.  Okay, maybe I am not so hot on that one.  But you know that usually I am a big fan of you Company.  In fact, I am borderline in love with you.  I have written multiple posts about how great you are.  In some of them I seem like I am drunk.  And that's because I am most of the time when I write about my readers.  I am punch drunk with love and gratitude and compliments.  Yeah, how do you feel about that, Company?  Hell, I even write your collective name with a capital letter.  Lap of luxury for you here.  That's all I have to say.
     Fresh, new content on a regular basis.  Okay Company, whether you love or hate me you have to admit that I blow away the competition in this area.  I mean, okay, sometimes it's not so fresh, but it's always new.  And I rarely miss a day.  I challenge you to go through all those other lame Blogs of Note and see if there are any others that post as often as I do.  And my posts are long.  I know that most people are busy and don't have time to write Nordic epic poems the way I do for you, but you have to give me that even if I am not always giving you quality I am definitely giving you quantity.  
     Quality writing.  Yeah...can we just skip over this one?  I know that my posts are not always that great.  I mean, I know that most of my friends are teachers.  But only one is an English teacher.  And she is teaching Spanish right now.  So I don't really have too much in the way of editorial pressure.  In fact, my entire staff of editors here at Big Dave and Company are actually monkeys.  They are wearing button-up shirts, suspenders, and those see-through green visors that accountants always wore back in the day.  Yeah, that's my editorial staff.  They don't cost very much, so they work very well for me.  I send my unpaid interns in to feed them once a week, what's it to you?  But in all seriousness, I know that my spelling and grammar aren't always the best, and that I often change from first person to third person, sometimes within the same sentence, but I put in lots of pictures to make up for it.  Sometimes I put in pictures of pictures.  Doesn't that count for something?
     Family friendly activities.  What's more family friendly than hangman and safety tips from a police official?  Well, maybe not hangman if one of your relatives has been lynched...
     Open access.  I think that this one is important.  There are lots of Blogs of Note that aren't set for everyone to see.  I don't agree with that one bit.  I mean, if you aren't willing to have to world hear what you have to say, then how can you be noteworthy?  Okay, it's fine if the good people at Blogger can read what you have to say, but what good is it if I can't?  Or Chevy Orange can't?  Or Mark Schengel of Mill Valley, CA can't?  It doesn't make sense.  But I guess that I don't get a say.
     Luck.  Yeah, I think that this is what I am missing.  I looked into it and there doesn't seem to be much of a rhyme or reason to the Blogs of Note.  In August there were a lot of Olympic-themed blogs but that is to be expected.  Other than that I can't really tell.  I think that it is just a random luck thing.  Which is fine.  But it shouldn't be.  I know that I am a Blog of Note to all my dedicated readers, and that warms my heart.  But I am trying to get famous here folks.  And our friends at Fake Interviews with Real Celebrities experienced amazing results when they were named a Blog of Note in June of 2008.  I don't know, maybe I am just not popular enough.  Maybe I am not good enough.  But I don't think that either of those are true.  I know that I am good.  I know that I am dedicated.  And I know that you will always love me.  But why can't Blogger?  I don't think that I'm asking too much, am I?  All I want is the rampant popularity that comes with beings a Blogger Blog of Note.  And I want it ten minutes ago.

1 comment:

Roxy said...

You know that you are my number one blogger, Big Dave, even if you do call and leave me bragging messages about your football team....