Friday, September 19, 2008
Let's Get Real
Hey you! Yeah you. I just saw you go by my apartment in your Volvo with rap music blaring. Yeah, don't think I didn't. And don't try to weasel out of it either. Because I heard the lame rap music coming down the street and I looked outside expecting to find what you always find when you hear that in rural northern Wisconsin..a shitty 1989 Ford Probe. But that's not what I saw. I saw you almost brand new, shiny, beige Volvo. And I know that that is where the rap music was coming from because that was the only car on the street at the time. Well, I hate to break it to you and your Swedish engineering, but nobody in the hood drives a Volvo. That's just a fact of life. I know, Volvos are nice cars. Luxurious. Safe. Expensive. But people in the hood get much better cars, usually Cadillacs or Lincolns or maybe a Benz. But not a Volvo. Even once they have kids they don't get a Volvo. So, blaring rap music from the factory speakers of a Volvo doesn't scream "HOOD!" It screams "I'm from suburban Chicago and my parents have money." Sorry to rain on your parade.