Friday, August 08, 2008

Wedding Day

     Well Company, it's wedding day.  Settle down, it's not my wedding day.  So all you single girls out there can just relax.  Cliff and Michelle are getting married today, and I am officiating the ceremony.  Yeah, you read that right.  I went online and was ordained by a monastery in Washington state, and I am going to perform the ceremony and sign the marriage license.  I swear.  I checked out the law, did the research, and it's all on the up and up.  And it's going down today.  I am all dressed and ready to go too.  I look very ministerial, you'd want me if you could see me.  It's going to be a fun night but I am not going to lie, I am nervous as hell.  I have had so long to think about it and it never set in until rehearsal yesterday.  Now I am nervous.  I don't have a problem speaking in public, but it's almost harder when you are up there in front of all your friends.  And I desperately don't want to mess things up.  It is such an honor to be asked to do this; I don't want to be the reason it all goes down the tube.  It's actually pretty funny because both of them have been married before, and I never have, and they keep asking me what to do.  I don't know!  Why are the two people who have done this before asking the rookie?  At the rehearsal, a bystander asked the best man's wife if I was the minister.  He said that I didn't look very ministerial and should probably go back to the seminary.  But hey, just because I was barefoot, with my dirty Wisconsin Badgers hat on backward, and I was wearing a Jack Daniels shirt and belting out curse words doesn't mean that I am not ministerial.  But I digress.  I think it will go well.  I hope so.  Wish me luck Company, I need all the help that I can get.  They don't teach you about this part in seminary.  At least I assume they don't.


Anonymous said...

That's so cool they asked you to do that and I'm sure you did a great job!! I can totally picture it!

KingBobb said...

"So, as a result of my own ineptitude, I became a big hit at the wedding." -- Big Dave, upon being asked how the wedding went.

KingBobb said...

Which summed it up, nice and neat in Big Dave lingo for me. I'm sure that everything was spectacular, though I wish I could've made it and experienced the hilarity.