Saturday, August 30, 2008

Move It!

     Well Company, I must apologize for the last couple of days. I sincerely thought that there was a post of some sort set to go up for you guys on Thursday. Apparently I didn't. My apologies. As for Friday, well, it was a busy day and I just didn't get to it. Again, apologies. But you've survived. You are alright. You might have a scrape on the elbow, a bruise on your big toe, a touch of meningitis. Nothing you can't survive. We are back anyway, so the healing can begin. And we are back with big, big, big news.
     The top brass here at Big Dave and Company have recently signed a deal to move our worldwide headquarters to a new location. Lured by a lucrative tax break, the fistfulls of cash that were thrown at us, massive loopholes in local zoning ordinances, and the proximity to several topless dance clubs, the Big Dave and Company Worldwide Headquarters is moving into the lush, modern campus in Northern Wisconsin pictured above. It is a landmark day in the the illustrious history of Big Dave and Company, as we resrtucture ourselves to serve you better.
     While our Worldwide Headquarters is moving from our perch on shores of Lake Superior in Upper Michigan our regional offices in Sand River, Michigan; Mankato, Minnesota; San Francisco, California; St. Augustine, Florida; Kansas City, Missouri; St. Petersburg, Russia; Asuncion, Paraguay; Perth, Australia; and Windhoek, Namibia will continue to remain open and provide the same great services that they always have. We wouldn't be an almost-award winning blog without the their hard work. With the upcoming relocation of our Worldwide Headquarters comes many spectacular events. First of all is the always exciting Carry Our Shit to the U-Haul event, in which the person who carries the most of our things to the waiting truck gets the opportunity to write for Big Dave and Company for a day. Then there is the fun-for-all-ages Floor Scrub-a-thon, with the grand prize being a day with Big Dave, the Big Dave and Company head writer. And who can forget the Big Dave and Company Super Fun Rummage Sale of Shit That We Don't Want? That is going to be happening too. You can look forward to all of these events in the coming days as we here at Big Dave and Company perpare to move into out new campus in Northern Wisconsin. Look for a tour of the campus to be available tomorrow.


Anonymous said...

Good luck with the big move! And congrats again on the new job. I've never spent much time in Wisconsin and now I have the perfect excuse to do so.

KingBobb said...

None of those prizes are all that great.

Big Dave said...

Well Bobb, you don't have to worry about our awful prizes, because you won't be winning any of them. I bet you have a good chance at winning the "Molested by Kal While Riding in the Car" prize.

KingBobb said...

That's not a good chance. That's having no chance at all. Kind of like swimming the 500 meter relay as a hydrophobic quadriplegic. At the end of the episode, you're just fished out of the water, horrified and scarred forever.