Thursday, July 31, 2008

Eight Ways That Ben Carpenter is Similar to a Koala Bear

Click here and read this article.


All done?  Good.  Now, here are eight ways that Ben Carpenter is similar to a koala bear.

1.)  They have both ridden on the front of a vehicle moving at high speed, and not by choice.  That's pretty obvious.  Ben Obviously on the front of what appears to be a Freightliner, and the koala on what was probably a Ford or a Mitsubishi.

2.)  Both are victims of drivers who are oblivious.  The trucker I can understand a little bit, because it is really hard to see things that are right in front of the grill of your truck.  So maybe Ben motors by on his wheelchair as the driver is checking his manifest or something, and when the driver moves on he catches the guy and whatever.  But the Australian lady, come on.  She saw the koala in the road and then didn't see it anymore once she had hit it.  Let's think about that.  I've hit shit with my car, rabbits, turkeys, squirrels, even tumbleweeds.  And you ALWAYS make sure you see it land somewhere because otherwise IT'S STUCK IN YOUR CAR SOMEWHERE.  Apparently common sense swirls backward in Australia just like the toilet water.

3.)  Both like soda.

4.)  Both ended their ordeal at a depot.  Ben at a trucking depot outside of Paw Paw, MI and the koala, since names Lucky Grills, at a train depot on the outskirts of Brisbane, Queensland.

5.)  Both looked HILARIOUS while in their predicament.  Lucky mostly because he was hanging ass end out the front of a car.  People buy fake props to make that scene happen.  The Australian lady found a much cheaper alternative.  Ben was mostly hilarious because I am sure he was flailing around and screaming his head off.  Plus, I bet those electric wheelchair wheels were going around something crazy going down the highway.

6.) Both are EXTREMELY lucky.  For lots of reasons obviously, but I choose to look at only two.  Lucky Grills' head was impacted through the grill of a car, and what's right behind the grill of the car?  That's right, the radiator and cooling fan.  On an older model car where the cooling fan was connected to the motor with a belt and ran continuously he is toast.  On never model cars the fans only run when the temperature gets up to a certain level.  When driving down the road they usually aren't operational.  Good for Lucky, or he'd probably be short a nose and in a bad way.  Ben Carpenter was really lucky that the truck didn't get on the interstate.  For those of you who don't know, the Red Arrow Highway around Paw Paw, where Ben took his ride, runs parallel to I-94.  If that truck had taken the interstate to get to its destination in lieu of the two-lane Red Arrow Highway, he would have been subject to speeds of 60-75 MPH and would have been much, much worse off.

7.)  Both came out fine.  Which is impressive.  Ben seemed to be taking things in stride, and Lucky tested okay despite being HIT BY A MOVING CAR.  So good for them.  Resilient little scamps, aren't they.

8.)  Both have probably never been to Africa.

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