Thursday, June 05, 2008

Thundershowers and Me Eating Crow

Well Company, I have a two-part post for you tonight.  First of all, I want to make a quick comment on the fact that there is a sweet thundershower going on outside my picture windows right now.  And that's great.  It's just a nice, gentile, watering rain with sweet thunder and lightning all around.  It's perfect.  Perfect for curling up with your special someone, maybe with your stuffed beaver.  Perfect for a scary horror movie to be filmed.  Maybe a detective flick.  But mostly it's perfect because it's the first thundershower of summer.  The sight of lightning flashing across the lake means warm weather, barbecues, and lots of campfires to come.  Now it's time for dinner.
Well, for dinner tonight I am going to eat a big, steaming pile of crow.  And it's probably going to be delicious, but not for me.  Because I did something bad.  And I learned that it's something that you should never, ever do.  It was a mistake, it was stupid, and it was wrong.  And what did I do that was so horrible?  I told a woman that she should become a lesbian.
Yeah, you read that right.  I told a middle-aged woman that she should give up the ghost and just become a lesbian.  And let me give you a little piece of advice.  Never do that.  It's a bad idea.  I was just joking around and I paid for it.  I can't imagine if I had said it on purpose.  Not that there is anything wrong with being a lesbian.  I know plenty of lesbians and I have no qualms with them.  It's just that there is something debilitating about being told that there is no way you will be successful with the opposite sex anymore.  I've been told that I might as well be gay before, and I just laughed it off.  HAHAHAHA.  But I can see how it would be hard to swallow.  So that's why I am swollowing my pride and eating a little crow.  So, if I've told you that you might as well become a lesbian in the past, oh, forever or so I must apologize.  It was wrong and I won't do it again.  You feel free to chase and sleep with anyone at all.  In the words of Foxy Roxy "I don't care who you are sleeping with, as long as you are sleeping with someone."  Oh, and if any of you ever decide to become lesbians in the future, apparently she can hook you up.  Sweet. 


Roxy said...

Oh she knows it wasn't for real!! And although I am probably still on the shit list, she knows I love her! :)

SandRiverGuy said...

congrats on your new life change peg-a-saurus rex

Anonymous said...

Alas, You are afraid of losing my love, but I still love all of you crazies!!! You are all forgiven. Love Peg!