Saturday, June 28, 2008

My Best Larry King Impression

     I have always wanted to do a Larry King-style post, where I just sprout off random thoughts that pop into my head.  Thoughts that have no connection to themselves or anything.  Just random, rediculous thoughts.  So here goes.

-  Adult Swim is a funny name that makes no sense.

-  You don't need both an electric screwdriver AND a drill.  

-  Those Swedish and their socialized medicine really like to paint their houses pastel colors.

-  For my money, you don't get funnier than Dane Cook.

-  Jeff Goldblum shouln't be allowed to talk anymore.

-  Kelly green and black make for a snazzy color combination.

-  Whoever decided to bread and fry cheese is a genius and should probably win a Nobel Prize.

-  60-year olds shouldn't hang out in college bars.

-  Reality TV is nothing like reality.  

-  Covering anything from a griddle in sausage gravy makes for a tasty breakfast.

-  In my opinion, there is nothing worse than a cold linoleum floor in the morning.

-  Does anyone actually bathe in a bathing suit anymore?

-  Telemarketers should be on TV, not on my telephone.

-  Isla Fisher is a star on the rise.

-  Knock knock jokes are obsolete because everybody has doorbells these days.

-  8 x 8 is most definitely 64. 

-  Traffic signals are only stoplights if they are red.

-  Fruity tropical ice drinks are the way to go when on a beach vacation.

-  Protesting in public is not awesome.

-  Peanuts should only be served in three places: sports stadiums, airplanes, and bars.

-  Explosions are cool unless it's my stuff that is exploding.

-  The eggplant is a highly underrated vegetable.

-  Fresh snowfall is one of the most beautiful things in the world.

-  T-shirts are a wonderful form of clothing.

-  Meat should not be blended.

-  The Weather Channel doesn't need to be in HD unless it's showing pictures of tornados.

-  Medicine is helpful.

     Those are some of my random thoughts, Larry King style.  I know that I didn't quite match is high standards for senility or hilariousness but I don't care.  If you are thinking that this is a cover for terrible writers block then you are wrong.  If you think that this was a cop out because I didn't have the time or energy to write a proper blog, you are getting warmer.  If you think that I am just a little tired and it's super muggy you are totally correct.  Congratulations, buy yourself some ice cream and pretend that it's from me.

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