Thursday, June 05, 2008

The Great Cleaning

     I woke up this morning in my now studio apartment and was shocked at the amount of mess and clutter that surrounded me.  As I slowly came to I flashed back to how clean and tidy A.O.'s house was when I was there the other day and how she was preparing to clean it MORE and I almost threw up.  Because once my brain, despite its stupor, did all the calculations, carried the one, dispensed the remainder, and formatted the results into a simple graphical form there was one and only one fact staring me in the face:  I have too much shit.
     Now, I already knew this.  I have talked about it before.  But every once in a while some sort of chemical switch flips deep inside the recesses of one's mind, way in the back where you store the recipe for snickerdoodles and your ex-husband's social security number, and you are forced to take action on your situation.  As such, it's time for The Great Cleaning.
     It's a pretty simple concept really.  I plan to go room by room and go through everything with a fine toothed comb (at least my comb will get used for something then) cleaning what needs to be cleaned, and most importantly, weeding through the junk.  This is the right season for it.  Everyone I know, and their brother, and their fat aunt are having a rummage sale.  So I am thinking that a lot of my stuff will go up for sale.  As for the rest of it, I am going to get a pack of city bags and be done with it.  Everything will get done.  Dish washing marathon until they are all clean and put away.  That big pile of mail and old bills on the table will be filed or thrown in the recycling bin.  The pen with the FM radio in it?  Gone.  Red Rocket Gift?  Dusted and placed back where everyone can see it.  Good Morning Vietnam on VHS?  Sold.  Old checkbooks from accounts that I don't even have anymore?  Kindling.  It's time to part with the old and create some space to breathe.  To live.   Kick the clutter to the curb and reinvent my life and myself.  Be active around the house.  Eat better.  Exercise more.  Volunteer in the community.  WOAH TIGER!  Let's start with removing the mold from the light fixture in the Mediterranean bathroom.  Then we can move on to bigger and better things.
      The Great Cleaning allows for another thing too.  It's finally time for all the winter paraphernalia to go away and the summer toys to come make an appearance.  Goodbye jackets, snowshoes, earmuffs, the shovel that I keep in my car.  Hello board shorts, hiking boots, and kerosene lanterns.  Then everything will be ready for the fourteen days of summer that we are allotted each year.  It's sort of like when your local lake turn over in the fall, or when your local JC Penney's suddenly replaces all the capri plants with heavy flannel pyjama pants.  It's a sign of changes to come.
     Okay, okay.  You've got me.  We all know that Shakespeare was writing about me when he said that man is "full of sound and fury yet signifying nothing."  And it's true.  For all I yelp and bellow about it, for all the talk I talk, The Great Cleaning will never be completed.  But I certainly intend for it to be.  So I should at least earn some points for intent.  And at least some of my place will get cleaned and some of the clutter eliminated.  "Shoot for the moon, then if you miss at least you land among the stars" the old adage goes.  At this point I'd just settle for landing in some open floor space.


SandRiverGuy said...

guy honestly aim low to avoid disapointment. the cleaning job is never done you get a burst of energy throw everything out of the closet on your bed sit down to go threw it get tired and wake up in a heap of shit.i say get a leaf blower and blow it all out the door.

KingBobb said...

Big guy, in your defense, A to the O's house was kinda creepy in it's cleanliness. No offense, Mrs. O. I'm pretty sure that she doesn't sleep to get it to look like that. Because anyone with 17 dogs/cats/children/husband shouldn't be physically able to have their house that clean. Besides, I saw your floor a couple of times last weekend. It's still there, what do you need to see all of it for? So long as you can see color from a couple of patches, you've got enough for ambiance.

ALO said...

you know...just before i sat down to read your blog, i thought to myself, i really need to clean that lamp next to the computer and get a can of air for the keyboard and...haha