Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Grade: F+

Sometimes we fail in life.  We fail a test.  Perhaps we don't get the new job we are applying for.  Maybe we very publicly hold our infant child upside down over a hotel balcony in front of 16 hundred-thousand photographers like Michael Jackson did.  Sometimes failures are large, and some are very small.  And sometimes you have a situation where small and seemingly unimportant failures add up to create a completely unsuccessful day.  That was my day yesterday.
It began with the Dingo.  It's not her fault but she got the ball rolling.  She needed new brake pads and she thought she could save herself some money if I did them for her.  Fair enough, I don't mind.  I promised nothing but I said I'd take a look.  So I looked.  And I took things apart.  Then I put the brake pads in and put things back like I found them.  Great.  Sounds simple enough, doesn't it?  Yeah, not so much.  Terrible grinding noises ensued, noises that caused her to sharply inhale every time they occurred.  So...we took the car in to get fixed correctly by a professional.  Yeah, I managed to take a car with less than 10% brakes left, put new brakes on it and actually make it worse.  Sorry Dingo.  That was my first failure. We'll give that an F.
Right about the time Dingo was skating off to work my landlord came home and came upstairs to help fix my electrical issues.  So we began working on that and it was like the blind leading the blind.  We got the wires fixed up and then began to mount the fan and the wires fell apart.  So we got them all spliced together again and mounted the fan and the wires fell apart.  And so it went.  Two steps forward and one step back.  Put up Part A but find out that we were supposed to remove Part B first.  So take down Part A and remove Part B and then Part C falls off.  And so on and so forth.  So we finally get the electricity fixed and the fan mounted and working and we discover we need a special kind of light bulb that can only be bought in Romania and six towns in Southern Bulgaria and that has a plug based on a NASA design so it's super expensive.  So I had a fan but no light.  Then I think the landlord forgot to put the fuse back in one we were done.  So the fan has been tested, it works, and I had the super-secret special agent light bulb brought in from Bucharest and I still have no electricity.  So today when he gets home I will be knocking on his door.  So...I sort of almost succeeded on that front but not really yet, but I still believe that I deserve a C because it will work once completed (hopefully) yet it was a fiasco making it so, which is about average for my life.  But we will go with a grade of a straight up D because that seems much more appropriate.
Dingo called me in the middle of the fan project and asked me to pick up her car because it was finished and she was off to work.  So I said sure, and bolted after the fan project to pick it up.  Funny story, the brake place closes at 4 pm.  Dingo told me this.  Yet I was surprised when I got there at 4:40 pm there was no once there, despite the "Open" sign glowing in the window.  And I was mad, because quite frankly I wanted to know what I screwed up.  Actually, no I don't.  Because it was probably something so simple and dumb.  If I had gone in there and they had told me that I put a brake pad on backwards or something I probably would have walked directly out the door and into cross traffic.  So it's probably for the better.  But I still feel bad because not only did I not fix the brakes but I failed to get the car.  So that's definitely an F.  If there was an F- I'd get that but you can't get an F- because there are no degrees of failure.  You wither fail or you don't, so I get a definite F for that one.
Remember how I talked about fixing the brakes?  Well, while I was cleaning up all the tools and paraphernalia from the busted brake job I set some of my tools on the roof of my Dykewagon.  And that is where they remained until I left to go to the grocery store and spread them in a wide arc all long the highway through town.  I heard some awful scratching on my roof as I took off from a stoplight and looked in my mirror and saw tool after tool bouncing down the highway behind me.  Thank goodness that they didn't damage any vehicles behind me.  I was lucky in that respect.  And I got most of them back this morning after work.  But still, that is awful.  And hilarious.  But awful.  F
I was going to the grocery store because I wanted to make two things: green bean casserole and butter pecan torte.  Both terribly simple.  And the butter pecan torte seemed to turn out okay.  But I managed to mess up the green bean casserole.  First of all, I thought I had enough of those little french onions you put in there in my cabinet.  But I didn't have quite enough.  No big deal.  Then I made it a little bit soupy.  Bad.  Then I put in the pepper.  Yeah, I tried to put in a little more pepper than usual and I ended up putting in WAY too much.  Way, way, way too much.  So it wasn't that good.  I took a super easy and super good recipe that I can make from scratch in my sleep with my left hand tied behind my back (I'm left handed by they way) and I screwed it up.  Wow, that's impressive.  Impressive enough to get me another big fat F.
After that I went to work, and that was good.  It was dead, I was on the ball, Lymie gave some great ideas to self-promote the old blog, and I balanced on the first try.  And I didn't even feel sleepy until I got home.  So A+ for work.  Good way to end the day. 
I had wanted to go hiking after work but I didn't go because I was tired, I had to import an ex-Soviet KGB style light bulb from my fan that can't work, I wanted some breakfast, and I had to gather a search party to comb the median of the Bypass to find my socket wrenches, and it was cloudy and cold.  But I still could have gone and I didn't.  So I give myself a C- for that one because I could have but I didn't really fail so much as it got trumped by other things.  So really a rough day ended with a whimper but it could have been much, much worse.
In the end it wasn't bad.  I feel real bad about the brake job business, a little embarrassed about the green bean casserole, really embarrassed about the tool thing, and bad because I didn't manage my time well enough to crayfishing with Sister.  So that is another F to add to the mix.  But sometimes we all have those days.  Those days where it feels like you are just struggling with everything that comes your way.  It's okay.  It all about how you deal with the repeated failures and how you move on.  I chose to just keep plugging away with an aura of dejected acceptance about me.  And it got me through.  And today is a new day.  So we can't complain.  But it still turned out to be a largely unsuccessful day.  Grade: F+


SandRiverGuy said...

Ok guy i told you brakes on a pontiac of that year make and model suck balls but your awesome for trying it. second i wish i was behind that fucking dyke wagon when them tools came spilling off. i hope the kayak was on there and you pulled over and started punching the steering wheel. third and most valuable lesson you can never never ever ever never ever for never ever (i seen that on spongebob this morning so thank you patrick for the lovely quote) have to many of them french fried onions...seriously them rock!!

KingBobb said...

Dave, I gotta tell ya. I worked fourteen hours today. Got halfway done with a gigantic custom order that's supposed to ship on Thursday. Thought I was done. Started on another and realized I had to go back and finish the first. I thought that I had had a bad day. I stand corrected, sir. If I was wearing a hat, I would doff it in respect to a truly awful day. But, you can take some comfort in one undeniable fact. You're not and never will be Egypt. So that's gotta help.