Friday, May 30, 2008

Sonic...America's Drive In

     Yesterday I wrote a little about Sonic Drive-Ins.  Literally none of you asked "Big Dave, what's your problem with Sonic?  You seem especially bitter towards them."  Well, that is correct.  Because I had a bad experience with a Sonic once.  
     I fell prey to the same thing that PePe did.  For years I watched ads for Sonic Drive-Ins flash across my TV screen.  No matter where I was or which of my TV's I happened to be watching I still saw the ads.  Amazing cream-cheese-filled apple flavored turnovers that you dunk in a sweet buttery sauce.  Eleventy billion different flavor combinations for your slushie.  Delicious world-famous onion rings.  All amazing stuff.  All the restaurants were going to be bright and clean and colorful with cheery, happy patrons.  I was suckered.  So I went to a Sonic.  I went the to Sonic in Warsaw, Missouri.
     I went there with Little Jeffy.  I had drug him to Warsaw to go kayaking over Easter weekend one spring because Warsaw is strategically located smack dab in between two huge man-made lakes with lots of shoreline.  So we roll into what turns out to be a VERY small town at the edge of the Ozarks.  And it's not long before we notice the Sonic located across the street from our hotel.  So on night two or three we decided that we were going to go eat at the Sonic.  Something I was very excited to do.  Something that I had wanted to do for a long, long time.  Something that I was very much looking forward to.  And that's where the trouble began.
     I don't know if you noticed, but I said that the Sonic was right across the street.  But that's not quite right.  There was just this huge asphalt area, sort of a road mixed with a parking lot mixed with inner city basketball court plopped down in the middle of a wooded southern community.  It was strange.  But Little Jeffy and I couldn't see getting in our car and driving over to the Sonic when it was closer to our hotel room door than my mailbox is to my apartment door.  I know that this is America and we love our cars, but even the two of us aren't that lazy.  So we decided to walk over to the Sonic and order up some food to bring back to our hotel.
     We knew that Sonic was a drive in style restaurant.  We knew this.  But we could not fathom that they wouldn't have a small indoor counter or at least a window that once could walk up to and order some dinner.  Well, Sonic doesn't have a walk up window.  They don't have anything except for the automobile stalls.  Little Jeffy and I stood there, milling around in front of the building, trying to figure out where the walk up window was.  But we were never able to figure it out because there wasn't one.  So we walked around a bit more as the two high school girls inside stared out at us.  It was like they were soldiers hiding inside a trench in the Ardennes trying not to be seen by the passing German tanks.  Because they saw us outside, struggling and confused, and decided early on that they wanted nothing to do with us.  We knew that we had been spotted.  And we were smart enough to know that, after making fools enough of ourselves, simply walking into one of the many empty car stalls was out of the question.  We were hungry, and I was all about Sonic, but there was no way we were going to be those guys.  So we walked away.  And my Sonic dream walked away with us.  We went across the street/parking lot hybrid thing to McDonald's (or Clown's as Little Jeffy likes to call it) and ate there.  And we never went back to the Sonic.  I have never since that day had the desire to go back to any Sonic.  Nothing kills desire like public foolishness.  Or at least for me.  So go try Sonic if you dare.  I might even be persuaded to go back eventually.  But don't be like Little Jeffy and I.  Please, please, please...take the car.

1 comment:

KingBobb said...

True story. Next time, I for one, fully intend on being the stereotypical lazy American dog who would rather drive than walk. Because at least that way I could experience what all the hype was about.