Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Sympathy Pains

     Okay, we need to talk.  We need to talk about sympathy.  There is a big difference between sympathy and understanding.  And a lot of times people are looking for sympathy when all they deserve is a little understanding.  And the worst is when someone is fishing for sympathy and they deserve nothing.  NOTHING!  If you try to jump your bike over a creek and end up falling in and getting all wet, you get no sympathy because you didn't have to jump.  If you are gambling and you lose $1000, you get no sympathy because you could have stopped after $100.  If you put a whole bottle of lighter fluid on your grill then lean over it and light it with a match and burn your eyebrows off, you get no sympathy because you obviously shouldn't have been allowed into civil society to begin with.  If you are talking on your cell phone while driving and ass-ram the semi in front of you, you get no sympathy.  That's just how it works.
      You only get sympathy if something bad happens to you and it's not your fault.  Or even if it is a little your fault but it comes so far down the chain of consequences that you never could have seen it coming.  For instance, if you carve you and your wife's names into a tree with a big heart around them in an attempt to kick start the romance in a dying marriage and that causes wood eating insects to get behind the bark and into the tree and then they eat the insides and the tree falls on your garage and crushes your truck, table saw, lawn mower, pool toys, old boxes of National Geographic, etc. that deserves some sympathy because there is no way that you could have seen that coming.  Am I right?  
So don't go fishing for sympathy if you don't deserve it.  Because you won't get it from me.  I will give you understanding if you deserve it.  Otherwise I will give you indifference and scorn.  That's just how it works.  And don't go giving sympathy for the results of stupidity.  If we stop giving and asking for sympathy at inappropriate times then maybe this world could be a little smarter.  Then we could get back to using bike helmets for protecting our heads while biking instead of protecting all our heads from ourselves as we go through out daily lives.  And wouldn't that be a wonderful thing?  Because all those helmets look stupid at business meetings and bus stops.  Except mine, because mine has a sticker of a duck on it.  And that is the shit.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Other than the dying marriage part, does this seem to me like it might have occurred in Negaunee?

Big Dave said...

Nope Anonymous. It is all random things that I thought up with my big, sexy brain.