Back in the day (which, according to Dane Cook, was a Wednesday) we used to call Young Errik Peaches. It's really not important how he got that name. All that is important is that his former roommate got named Cream as a result and hated it. Which is good because he was a dick. So anyway, Young Errik was called Peaches. And it was the combination of he and I and a bunch of stupid college kids that led to the start of the most wonderful holiday--St. Peaches Day.
Young Errik and I were sitting in the hall between out dorm rooms playing Legos one April 20th. I don't know if it was exam week, or what was going on, or why we were playing Legos in the hallway instead of in one of our dorm rooms. And I have no idea from where we got Legos. I mean, it's true that Legos do rock, and that they are always fun no matter what the age. Seriously, have you tried them recently? I am glad that they are always labeled "Ages 8 and up" as opposed to "Ages 8-12" because it's open ended and I can still play with them when I am 16, 24, 32, 79, or whatever.
So anyway, Young Errik and I, and probably Jimmy James, are being creative and most likely dumb and playing with Legos. And as people are walking up and down the hall, stepping over us as they go about their business, a few of them are saying "Happy 4/20." That's all I kept hearing--"Happy 4/20." "Happy 4/20" Now I don't smoke, so I thought that people constantly wishing me "Happy 4/20" was
dumb. It was borderline retarded. "Happy 4/20, huh huh." Go to hell. You are SO annoying. I got real tired real quick of people wishing me a happy 4/20, so I randomly began wishing people "Happy St. Peaches Day" If you had been walking along my dorm hallway that day and came upon three weirdos playing Legos in the middle of the hall in the middle of the afternoon, you would have been wished a Happy St. Peaches Day by the fat one whose Legos made something lame and uncreative. Nobody knew what St. Peaches Day was. Many people didn't know who Peaches was. But most of them didn't care. Most of them did exactly what you'd expect, they just stared at me and moved on. A few inquired about this exciting new holiday. Some argued with me that I couldn't just make up a holiday out of the blue. Well guess what dickface: I just did. How do you feel about that?
St. Peaches Day never really caught on, I'm not going to lie. Every year, a few select friends of mine who know about it will call or e-mail each other with a Happy St. Peaches Day message if we remember. And I guess that maybe there are some other friends that I don't know about, the offspring of one of those people walking down the hallway, who are wishing each other the same. Maybe they are having a St. Peaches Day party. Perhaps there is a cake involved. I don't know. But now you know about it and you can spread the word to whatever corner of the world you live in. Go out and get a cake. Maybe a nice blueberry pie with some vanilla ice cream. Put up some white or colored Christmas lights. Maybe throw some confetti on your bushes. Do what you've gotta do. But do something. Because every day should be celebrated. We just gave this one a name. So Happy St. Peaches Day everyone!